I Can't Believe It
by PhoenixClaw
Summary: While at the grocery store, Naruto just can't bring himself to believe it. Can Sasuke help the confused ninja understand such a mysterious predicament? Also, whats up with Itachi, Kisame and a pair of lobsters? Read and be amused! [Super Short Crack Fic!]


**Disclaimer:** Don't own Naruto. It'd be cool, but no...

Heh, well, I'm in the middle of trying to update the final chapter of 'Just Another Day' (sans the Epilogue, of course) when I kind of ran into a slight writer's block. I decided to surf DeviantArt to take my mind off the story for a bit and ran across a comic that gave me a great idea for a short one-shot. XD

Read and be amused!

* * *

The Sharingan ninja let loose a strained growl as his hyper-active teammate continued to scrutinize the small object before him. The fact that he was wearing a _'Believe It! Dattebayo!'_ tee-shirt only made it that much more annoying. 

_Why did I ever think it was a good idea to take Naruto food shopping with me? Stupid Sakura and my constant need for excuses...there's no way a date could've been worse than having to put up with this..._

Allowing that last caustic thought to hang prominently in his mind, Sasuke turned back to his long-time friend and rival. Naruto was still in the same spot he had left him, mouth agape, staring at the small item in his hands.

"I...I just can't believe it..."

The raven-haired boy let out an exasperated sigh.

"Its not that hard of a concept, idiot. It says so right on the label."

The orange-clad boy held the small curiosity high in the air, hoping a new angle might shed some light on his dilemma.

"Yeah, but Sasuke, just look at it! There's no difference!"

The Uzumaki boy regarded his quarry with a reproachful glance.

"I bet its some sort of ultra-secret marketing scheme to rake in loads of cash so the company can buy all the ramen they want..."

The Uchiha prodigy pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration, causing said boy to unleash yet another subdued growl.

"Naruto...listen to me. First off, not everyone is obsessed with ramen like you. Second, I'm right, you're wrong, end of story. Now either shut up and put it in the cart or lets get out of here. 'Emo-Mart' is having a one day special on anti-depressants and I really need to- "

"But just _look_ at it!"

The blond-haired ninja, completely oblivious to his rival's Emo-esque needs, proceeded to pry the lid off the small container and stick a finger into the contents within.

"See! It even _feels_ the same! Tch, I'm telling you, its all for the ramen..."

Sasuke gritted his teeth while trying to quell the stress marks popping out on his forehead.

"Great, now we _have_ to buy it...just throw the stupid thing in the cart and lets go already..."

Naruto began to open his mouth.

"If its about ramen again, I don't care."

The foxy-nin raised a finger in protest, thought about it for a moment, then snapped his jaw shut.

Sasuke allowed himself the slightest indication of a smirk.

"Thats what I thought."

With a quick underhand toss, Naruto relinquished himself of his dietary paradox as both young men made their way to the check-out line. The katon-user was just starting to unload his bounty when he felt a slight tug at his sleeve.

"Uh...Sasuke...?"

The young ninja growled in response without turning around.

"What do you want now?"

Naruto kept staring straight ahead, not quite sure how to process the information set before him.

One lane over, a pair of cloud-marked cloaks made themselves painfully obvious to the blond boy. Uchiha Itachi was just bagging the last few bottles of anti-wrinkle cream when Kisame came bolting down the aisle holding a single lobster under each arm.

"Itachi-san! Look what I found in the Seafood section! I never knew they sold pets here! Heh, well, I went ahead and got one for each of us! What do you want to name them?"

The Mangekyou Sharingan user eyed the two creatures with an unreadable expression. A faint glint reflected off twin crimson eyes as he regarded his partner in a nonchalant manner.

"How about 'Lunch'...and 'Dinner'."

The blue-skinned Akatsuki member face-faulted, nearly dropping his creepy crustaceans to the ground. Itachi turned and began to head for the exit.

"Come, Kisame. We need to get back to the base and deliver these groceries. You know how Leader-sama gets when he doesn't have his Cheerios."

Kisame gave a nervous twitch before nodding in agreement. Both missing-nin casually made their way through the check-out line and out the door. Their blue-eyed spectator swallowed the lump gathering in his throat.

"_For God's sake Naruto, what is it!?_"

Remembering his tentative inquiry from before, the orange-clad ninja suddenly realized that he had apparently been tugging on the young man's sleeve the whole time.

"Oh, uh..."

Naruto glanced around only to find an area suspiciously devoid of clan-murdering psychopaths.

"...Nevermind."

Sasuke gave his teammate a patented Uchiha Death Glare © before turning around and paying the bill.

-

Back at Sasuke's apartment, Naruto had taken the liberty to invite himself in as he casually began to put the groceries away in all the wrong places.

"Milk doesn't go in the cupboard, dumbass! No wonder you have so many gastrointestinal problems..."

The orange-clad boy placed a bottle of soda in the stove before whirling about.

"Shut up, Sasuke! I've just got a lot on my mind right now!"

That little tidbit of knowledge proved too much for the raven-haired boy as he let out a snort of laughter.

"Ha! Like what? Which way to put your pants on in the morning? God, Naruto, how did you _not_ notice there wasn't a zipper when you tried to go?"

The whisker-marked boy turned beet red, slamming his hand down on the table and tipping over an adjacent grocery bag.

"_Shut up, Sasuke!_ That only happened once and you know it! (Sigh) They were my favorite pair, too..."

Naruto absently took notice of the results of his actions and scooped up a familiar container from before.

"What I'm trying to do is figure out whats up with this whole ramen-hoarding thing! Seriously, who would go through all the trouble just to put a strangle-hold on the ramen market? Maybe they're planning to buy out Ichiraku and jack up the prices..."

Sasuke tossed a handful of tomatoes in the produce drawer before turning back around.

"Would you shut up about the damn ramen! No one's trying to hoard anything, they're not planning to buy out Ichiraku and there's no plot for world domination, so just drop it already!"

Naruto shot the dark-haired boy a suspicious look riddled with uncertainties.

"I never mentioned anything about world domination, Sasuke...are you a part of the ramen conspiracy too?"

The young Uchiha growled menacingly.

"Alright, thats it, we're ending this once and for all."

Without further adieu, Sasuke hastily tore into a loaf of bread, extracted a single slice and slammed it into the toaster.

"Go get a knife from the drawer and grab a plate. I want this done and over with before any of your stupidity seeps into the woodwork."

The fox-nin let loose a few colorful comments only to be stared into submission shortly afterward. Both requested items found their way before the Uchiha prodigy just as a fresh piece of toast popped out of its hiding place.

Sasuke snatched up the small container and slathered its contents across the bread before shoving it towards his teammate. A pair of cerulean eyes regarded the meal with a half-hearted expression.

"Eh, I'm not really hungry right-"

"_Just eat it!_"

The blond haired ninja cast his rival a harsh glare before reluctantly complying.

"Well?"

Naruto took another healthy bite of his toast.

"I...its just that..."

His teammate looked on in an expectant fashion. Naruto's shoulders slumped in dismay.

"I can't believe its not butter."

Sasuke shook his head in resignation.

"_Idiot_."

* * *

Oh man, I hope that brand of margarine is as famous as I think it is. Otherwise, this won't be nearly as entertaining as it should have been... Well, I suppose I should thank poor English dubbing for giving us one of Naruto's famous catch phrases. Without it, this story might never have existed. 8P 

Hope you enjoyed my fic! Now that I got this out of my system, back to 'Just Another Day'!


End file.
